Sports Illustrated Protects Its Own: How Selena Roberts Rescued Joe Torre and Tom Verducci

When I first heard about the Joe Torre book, written with Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated, I was a little irritated. I have a problem with coaches writing books about their players so soon after having coached them. Call me corny, but I still think of coaches as pseudo-parental figures (especially for younger players) or at least bosses. Often they seem to write such books just to make sure the team will fail without them, airing the team's dirty laundry to cripple their successor.

For once, I wasn't the only one to have problems with this, as various Yankee fans (click link to see her video take on this), former players, and columnists expressed their disgust and annoyance with Joe Torre. It's ironic that a man who preached loyalty to the team and supposedly had such a good relationship with his veteran players would so casually throw A-Rod, Clemens, and others under the bus. Funny how authority figures who are getting paid stop preaching about loyalty once they stop getting paid, isn't it?



However, in the midst of all this negative publicity about Joe Torre and Tom Verducci, amazingly, a distraction appears. It's ok that Joe Torre mocked A-Rod, because A-Rod is really a steroid user! (This explanation is a little bit like saying "It's ok that the police beat that one guy, because I heard that guy cheated on his taxes once." There's no connection between those facts! no causality! no cancellation!). Now, which intrepid reporter helped someone violate the confidentiality agreement on tests that happened six years ago? Why, Tom Verducci's colleague at Sports Illustrated, Selena Roberts. What a coincidence! Hmm, I wonder, could Tom Verducci have helped pass along this tip to Selena? Isn't it interesting that with the book under full-fledged attack, some news magically appears to discredit the person Joe Torre most criticizes in the book?



Alex Rodriguez's positive steroid tests have nothing to do with the fact that Joe Torre went out of his way to attack an emotionally fragile player just to boost his book sales. When Alex moved to New York City, he foolishly thought that Derek Jeter was a real friend who would make his transition into a close-knit team easier, and that Torre was a player's coach. (Torre seems to have only been loyal to his original Yankees from the 90's; free agent acquisitions did not get any such respect).



Who hasn't made such a mistake when moving? You latch onto the only people you know in the area because you're new, only to realize that they really aren't interested in being close friends--come on, that's happened to many of us. So Alex Rodriguez got the cold shoulder from Derek and the mockery of his manager. And when Alex finally was going to get the sympathy he deserved from the public because Torre over-reached to punish him one more time, Verducci gets rescued (how convenient!) and Selena Roberts twists the knife a little deeper. Who says print media is dead? Looks like the pen is as sharp a sword as it ever was.



Side note: I'm fascinated that while searching for photos of Joe Torre with fans to accompany this post, I can't find one photo where Joe is actually smiling. Let's hear it for access-hungry sports reporters who turned a grouchy millionaire coach into a sympathetic, long-suffering saint. The photo below is the biggest smile I could find from Joe Torre when taking a photo with fans, and I'm sadly not exaggerating.

Washed-up Hotties Find (Fake) Love At Last

Let me vent for a minute before going back on hiatus. I can't believe how the impending Alex Rodriguez-Yankees deal is being covered. The Yankees and Alex Rodriguez both used to be the hot man/woman on the block. From 1996-2003 or so, they were too good to be true. Extremely talented and above reproach, they were the supermodel you can bring home to your parents. But now, both have squandered their reputation. The Yankees have spent the past 4 years seducing every small-market free agent with a pulse, while Alex Rodriguez has proved himself unable to handle commitment in any form. Let's put it this way; Ross from Friends and JD from Scrubs think Alex is being a wuss. The Man Without a (Baseball World Series) Country has shown surprising weakness under postseason pressure. Now that Alex is signing with the Yankees, it's somehow being presented as a win-win for all sides except for Scott Boras. Are you kidding me?!

The truth is, the Yankees and Alex Rodriguez, after years of having any body they wanted under their control, find that no one wants them anymore. This is a move of desperation. Their stupid puppet shows no longer draw crowds on Broadway. Whether it is George Steinbrenner's empty Mad Lib threats (If "name" doesn't "verb", then I will "verb" until he "verb") or Scott Boras' diarrheatic (ok, that's not a word) lying complete with Alex's Angst, the actors have been going through the motions for years. So now both are pretending that they have won each other's hearts and that this commitment ceremony, err, signing, is a true expression of love, instead of being the last desperate resort of washed-up hotties who have run out of people to exploit. If I were a Yankees fan, I'd be nauseated that my organization's owners can't say no to talent, even after promising not to resign Alex when he opted out. What message about talent over principles does that send in-house talent like Jeter, Posada, and Rivera, and young talent like Chamberlain and Hughes? And if I were Alex's family--what more can New York City do to prove that they resent you? Stone Cynthia in the streets and feed your kids to vultures? I mean, seriously, wake up Alex, when are you going to get tired of being manipulated? It's a tragedy that the only father figures Alex latches onto are abusive dominant types. Maybe that's what makes him such a great star, this attempt to get water from stones, but as a person, this is a terrible mistake.

Wait, what am I saying? Pity for the Yankees and Alex Rodriguez? Burn, baby, burn! It's so rare that the talented and arrogant get humbled and are forced to beg one another for scraps. Now if you'll excuse me, the Lakers-Kobe show is still going on. With luck, the Lakers will trade Kobe for Ben Wallace and the rights to Fran Vasquez, and Kobe will immediately slip on some ice in Chicago, get injured, and retire.