SuperStar Be: Kobe Bryant Be an Orange, not a Peach

So this week, instead of jamming all my Kobe analysis into one post and forcing you to go for the eye drops before you reach the end, I'm splitting it into three or four. By the way, I just amusedly thought that as Kobe ages, he should ask to be referred to as "Kobias", in the spirit of "Toby/Tobias". We have the -y or -ey endings for junior people; why not the -ias for senior editions? Oh, ok, it was just a transparent space-filler move. Still, the -ias ending is very under-rated...not that I'm (MC)bIAS'ed or anything...

Anyway, for a long time I've been following coverage of Kobe. Even long-time Kobe watchers like Slam Magazine say that it's very hard to get a read on what Kobe's personality really is and who he is at heart. I'm not going to argue with them; I haven't done 3-4 feature-length interviews with the man. But I think that Kobe's much more of an orange than a peach. When you break open a peach or chew through a peach, you go from a soft outer layer to a harder inner skin to finally a nut, that is hidden from view by the peach skin. (Insert your own "Kobe" and "nut" joke here!). There's a true center of the peach, and if you can open it up, you'll find a solid core. In other words, if Kobe is a peach, we don't understand him because he's hiding the core so well. But if we could get him to open up, we could find the basis of who he is and what he thinks.

However, when you open an orange, there is no solid core. Instead, the outside is hard, but the inside itself is empty. There may be a thin filament, or some juice, or even air at the center. That's how I think Kobe is. There's no true enigma at the center of Kobe's personality. Instead, the core of who Kobe is has been constantly changing over time as he's grown up in the limelight. If he had not spent most of his formative years in the limelight, I might buy tales of Kobe as a great enigma. Instead, I think he's more of a black mamba, in that he's constantly growing and shedding new skins. Wait, do black mambas shed skin too? Eh, no way I'm looking that up now. :-)

Next up: Kobe Bryant be...the Revenge of Joe Bryant and the City on the Country Game. I get to delicately dance through matters of race while trying to avoid text that makes me the subject matter of the next NOIS or LTMA post; should be fun.

Superstar Be: Kobe Bryant Videos

Not only is Kobe Bryant a superstar, but he's in Los Angeles, a media hub. Because of the video production skills of Lakers fans, he may have the highest quality highlight videos of any basketball athlete. I decided to show off some of them, because I was so impressed by the videos. We'll get into my own views on Kobe soon, promise. But I just wanted to show you what's out there.

Here's the video that introduced me to what was possible with video mixes:

Kobe Bryant and Shaq Story to "Since You've Been Gone"


Oh, that wasn't smarmy and sappy enough for you? "Become" by LK-47.


OK Laker fans, I'll let you empty your tissue box here while the rest of us move on. "Take these Broken Wings", using Tupac's "Until the End of Time":


Next, the movie preview mixes. These are really creative and mix movie previews and voice-overs with Kobe footage.

A Matrix movie preview with Kobe clips.


An Ali movie preview of Kobe Bryant's rape scandal, Ali voice-over clips.


Finally, some of the more aggressively musically scored Kobe videos. You can find many more of these, but here's just a few.

Unfortunately not embeddable, this video makes clever use of POD's Boom:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2079101413091981696&q=Kobe+Bryant

His fans feed off the Kobe hatred, taking it as just envy of the best. Lots of good mixes of aggressive rapping with aggressive jamming. Here's one of the longer ones.


Apparently using music from The Matrix (Clubbed to Death), here's another long take on the Kobe Bryant biopic. You may want to fast-forward to the middle of the video if you've seen enough Kobe dunk highlights by now.


OK, tomorrow I hopefully have time to tell you why Kobe Bryant Be...An orange, not a peach. Say what? It'll make sense soon enough.

Bloggolalia: Blogging Sans Hat

I decided to put up a late Friday post for weekend discussion, and see what the response is. The term "Bloggolalia" is a word mash that literally means "talking about blogs." (Lalia is a Latin/Greek word that means talk, more or less). I think it looks cool, so there you go.

Usually, MC Bias writes as if other sports blogging sites don't exist. (He also spends a lot of time listing the pros of cons of "I", "we", or "MC Bias" as terms to refer to oneself while blogging, and is giving serious consideration to the fourth-person "you" or "one"). However, a recent controversy on
http://www.withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2218 drew his attention. (FYI: The comments and/or post may offend you if you are sensitive to foul language or the abortion issue. Proceed.) The author made this comment: "Let this be the 1000th reminder that nothing -- nothing -- on this site is serious unless I make it an explicit point to "take off my With Leather hat."

I thought the throwaway reference to hats was an excellent metaphor for a dilemma that occasionally annoys me in sports blogging. Many of the best sites employ "hats"; that is, the author is talking in a very distinct style. That style often isn't how the person actually lives/talks in everyday life. The styles can be intriguing and entertaining, or irritating and biased, depending on your preferences. A short listing of "styles" would be Leave the Man Alone's or The Big Lead's sports media surveillance and analysis, Deadspin's self-depreciating, whimiscal humor, KSK or With Leather's testosterone rush, This Suit is Not Black's cross-out self-exultation/depreciation, and Nation of Islam Sports Blog's over-the-top and yet internally consistent exultation of the black race. I think that's enough mischaracterization of one's blogging elders for now, so I cease and desist.

However, what bothers me about a blogging hat is that a style, by definition, is often imitable. So if you wear the same blogging hat all the time, it gets very easy for someone to borrow that hat. Additionally, if we were to hold a contest, long-time readers of each site listed above could dredge up a passable imitation of that site's writing style. Plus, as the sites grow in popularity due to their hats, they attract detractors who have caught on to what hat the blogger is wearing. After all, isn't this the knock on Simmons? That he became popular because of his hat, but isn't changing the hat anymore? Perhaps the only difference between today's new sports bloggers and Simmons is longevity.

In the end, I think the right way is to begin by blogging with a hat, but to discard the hat once the site reaches a certain age or level of notoriety. I think Yaysports and Slamonline do this well. You may argue that Yaysports has the blogging hat of Photoshopping sports pictures, and that Slamonline has the blogging hat of supporting hip-hop ball. They may have started that way in the eyes of some, but there's been a lot of evolution since then. Explore the text, and you'll find variety in writing style and posts from each.

Of course, I blatantly disregard my own conclusion, and enjoy blogging hatless myself when no one is reading. :-) Let's hear it for blogging ADD!!! So, for your discussion this weekend while I attempt to school kids a decade younger than me in my high school's annual alumni game; hats, or no hats? And if you feel I have unfairly characterized your hat, by all means, comment.

SuperStar Be To Be...

So I already have a post down for tomorrow. I don't know whether I'll have the write-up, photos, or both done for tomorrow for "Superstar Be". But just for a little preview on which NBA superstar is next...



Recognize him?

Parallel Universe: Pac-Man Jones is Sir Adam the Chivalrous

Recently there has been a lot of speculation as to what some scattered reports about Pac-Man Jones mean. Due to an EXCLUSIVE interview with Pac-Man Jones, MC Bias is the ONLY blogger able to explain what really happened on that Las Vegas night. For truly, Pac-Man Jones is really a knight in the tradition of the Middle Ages, and is known to his squires and family as Sir Adam the Chivalrous. It came to pass, that as he sought for the Grail, Sir Adam descended on the desert city of Las Vegas with a bag of money to give to the needy that dwelt there. And behold, a young man requested of Sir Adam, that he assist impoverished dancers within a local establishment. Sir Adam stepped within, and found that the women were so poor that their clothes were in rags or non-existent. Some of them shook uncontrollably from hunger. Filled with compassion, he began to distribute the money in his bag to the needy women.

However, verily as Sir Adam did distribute the money to the women, he spied a snake on top of a pole. At first, he crossed himself, thinking this to be a miraculous sign as that which visited Moses and the Israelites in the desert. Alas, this was no snake of healing, but a venomous cobra. Unfortunately, Sir Adam had sworn not to bear weapons made of man within the city. He bravely swung his fist at the serpent, but unfortunately he had forgotten about the woman swinging around on the pole. His fist struck her full on the mouth, and she dropped like a stone. The bouncers, not seeing the serpent in the darkened club, rushed to demand an explanation of Sir Adam. The serpent seized this opportunity to dig its fangs deep within the leg of the nearest bouncer. Sir Adam, thinking quickly, immediately bit the bouncer’s leg at the point of the bite and leeched out the venom. Having saved the bouncer’s life, he raced to his squires, who remained without. They were under no oath to avoid bearing arms, and so he commanded his strongest squire to fire upon the serpent. However, the squire did not have the courage of Sir Adam, and his firing only hit the people within rather than the serpent. Saddened, Sir Adam commanded his squire to put his gun away, and they left the building. Sir Adam left the money bag there to pay for the medical attention of the needy, and continued on his quest for the Grail.

And in the parallel universe of Pac-Man Jones, THAT is what happened in Las Vegas.

ESPN Page 2 Ombudsman: Pearlman and Buckheit

MC Bias started paying attention to sports on-line because of ESPN Page 2's launch, and read ESPN Page 2 almost exclusively for about 3 years. Crazy? Yes. But I go way back with them, and thus, I'd like to offer my services as an ombudsman. Hey, George Solomon is busy enough taking care of the ESPN TV blunders.

Good: Maybe it's simply the work I've seen, but most of Jeff Pearlman's work screams "I'm smarter than these dumb jocks", an attitude I abhor in sportswriting. He picks easy targets like Bonds, Rocker, and homo-hater athletes and hammers them as if he's providing society a courageous service. However, for once he has decided to show a deserving athlete some appreciation. His article gives Ken Griffey Jr. respect as the best clean hitter of his generation. Wonderful article, once you get past the Bonds-bashing. Ok, Jeff, we get it, you're smart and not easily taken in by Bonds' attitude...just like 90% of us. Get over yourself.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=pearlman/070222

Still, though, Jeff's Page 2 Profile pic looks a LOT like Ben from the Others. That may not be so forgiveable:




Bad:
After Mary Buckheit hints in an article that her sexuality is not purely hetero (apparently, her favorite letters in MCBias are the middle two), her bosses choose her to interview the previous "Page 2 Hottest Female Athletes." What a terrible idea, beginning with the fact that your favorite Biased Blogger wasn't chosen to lob softball questions at Jennie Finch.

Seriously, it's odd enough if it's the same gender interviewing women (or men) about how attractive they are. You wouldn't want to read Bill Simmons asking Tom Brady what makes him so attractive, would you? It's worse when each question asked makes you wonder "hetero Mary or homo Mary?". It's just confusing as can be not knowing which it is, and dreadfully awkward.

On the other hand, I appreciate the women themselves (Jennie Finch, Amanda Beard, and Heather Mitts) in the interviews. They are not only attractive but genuinely level-headed and charming. That's RARE for good-looking females (and males) to be socially adept, funny, and humble. (The obligatory PSA; if you are such a female and you are angry at my sterotypeing against the good-looking, call 1-800-MCBIASNOW. Really, I want to change my Biased ways, my stereotype is due to my upbringing, and only you can rehabilitate me. :-p )

Man of the People: Steve Nash

I wanted to also start a feature of superstars taking pictures with their fans. I did a little looking around the 'Net for photos of Steve Nash with regular people or out and about, and found quite a few good ones. My apologies to those of you with dial-up; anyone know how to use the "jump" feature on blogger?

Just a note; I hate it when people immmediately assume too much about a picture. No, Athlete X has not personally dated every single person who he takes a picture with. Also, I'm not posting the pictures of athletes in various states of undress or with their families; go find those yourselves. Most everything else is fair game. That disclaimer said, on we go!

We start it off old-school with a regular picture:


Nash channeling 50's movie stars or a prison mugshot, not sure which.



Steve with some Italians. Female readers, please, breathe deeply. Don't get too excited.



Dirk and Steve singing again.


Our salacious picture of the evening.



Nash with a random fan. Bony-faced city.


Nash with four fans


Nash reading to a little fan; the caption was "Nash can't read" which cracked me up.


Youthful fan showing her Nash appreciation, thought this was cute.


Steve and Dirk in the pool.


Another random fan pic


Steve Nash is not afraid of the color pink.


Or of having his picture taken with attractive women.


Ditto


Affection for Steve Nash images is not limited to short blondes.


See, some of them are rather tall, too.


For the record, Steve WILL eat your children.


Some fan PDA this time around.


Nash...in Portugal, by the caption


Another female fan