Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Parallel Universe: Pac-Man Jones is Sir Adam the Chivalrous

Recently there has been a lot of speculation as to what some scattered reports about Pac-Man Jones mean. Due to an EXCLUSIVE interview with Pac-Man Jones, MC Bias is the ONLY blogger able to explain what really happened on that Las Vegas night. For truly, Pac-Man Jones is really a knight in the tradition of the Middle Ages, and is known to his squires and family as Sir Adam the Chivalrous. It came to pass, that as he sought for the Grail, Sir Adam descended on the desert city of Las Vegas with a bag of money to give to the needy that dwelt there. And behold, a young man requested of Sir Adam, that he assist impoverished dancers within a local establishment. Sir Adam stepped within, and found that the women were so poor that their clothes were in rags or non-existent. Some of them shook uncontrollably from hunger. Filled with compassion, he began to distribute the money in his bag to the needy women.

However, verily as Sir Adam did distribute the money to the women, he spied a snake on top of a pole. At first, he crossed himself, thinking this to be a miraculous sign as that which visited Moses and the Israelites in the desert. Alas, this was no snake of healing, but a venomous cobra. Unfortunately, Sir Adam had sworn not to bear weapons made of man within the city. He bravely swung his fist at the serpent, but unfortunately he had forgotten about the woman swinging around on the pole. His fist struck her full on the mouth, and she dropped like a stone. The bouncers, not seeing the serpent in the darkened club, rushed to demand an explanation of Sir Adam. The serpent seized this opportunity to dig its fangs deep within the leg of the nearest bouncer. Sir Adam, thinking quickly, immediately bit the bouncer’s leg at the point of the bite and leeched out the venom. Having saved the bouncer’s life, he raced to his squires, who remained without. They were under no oath to avoid bearing arms, and so he commanded his strongest squire to fire upon the serpent. However, the squire did not have the courage of Sir Adam, and his firing only hit the people within rather than the serpent. Saddened, Sir Adam commanded his squire to put his gun away, and they left the building. Sir Adam left the money bag there to pay for the medical attention of the needy, and continued on his quest for the Grail.

And in the parallel universe of Pac-Man Jones, THAT is what happened in Las Vegas.

1 comment:

  1. And I was worried my last Pacman post was too sympathetic...