Friday, March 16, 2007

SuperStar Be: Kobe Bryant Photos

I didn't finish up my Kobe Bryant analysis properly with some fan pics, and I've been overcome by guilt (nausea? apathy?) ever since. So here's the pictures:

Ali, Jus, & me w/ Kobe
Yes, joke all you want, there are plenty of pictures of Kobe with young female fans. He was the MAN with that fan-base pre-Colorado.

A-dazzle & me pimpin it out w/ Ron Harper
Just because I'm amused at the mix of tall NBA players with tweenagers, here's one more; Ron Harper.

Me and....KOBE BRYANT
Yes, Kobe will take pictures with the birthday girl...

Kobe and the girls!
And all of her friends, too. By the way, the caption was "what a lucky guy!". Um, he's Kobe Bryant! And you are who?! Love the West Coast attitude.

Kobe and Nick
The caption here made me kind of sad. "Kobe Bryant and my lil bro. His face lit up that night, he was so excited to meet Kobe. He doesn't really understand what happened with Kobe because he's lil, so he really really idolizes Kobe." Us older people can joke all we want about scandal, but it really does affect the kids.

KOBE BRYANT
Another one from the same set as above.

KOBE annie &me
This reminds me of some sort of farcical movie "Mr Kobe goes to Hollywood" or something. So staged. :-p

Kobe Bryant && the girls
More of the same

Us with Ben
No, I'm not at all envious of little teenage girls with rich fathers who get backstage access to NBA stars like Ben Gordon! And this shade of green I'm turning is just because of, um...I don't want to talk about it.

kobe_n_jay_pagoldmedal
A little retro Kobe for you.

kobe bryant
And the parade of teenagers continues...

kobe bryant with n o quarterback
Kobe Bryant and Drew Brees. Interesting random meeting.

Me and Kobe Bryant
We needed one Kobe 'fro picture, didn't we?

Oct 2006 - We Ran Into Kobe Bryant @ the Mirage
I was concerned that you would think Kobe only took pictures with white female teenagers, so here's proof that he takes pictures with female teenagers of ALL races. Shows you!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A Dear John Letter to Females who Love Sports

Dear Females who Love Sports,

It breaks my heart to say this. We've gone through a lot together, ever since those sweaty, happy days of full-contact basketball in middle school gym class. I've stalked, err, seen you at more sporting events than I can count, either playing or happily supporting your team. You have a special place in my heart, right up there with "Females who Share MCBias's Religious and Political Biases" and "Females of an Certain European Ethnicity".

But I believe the time has come for us to part. I don't know when the music (played, of course, by a collegiate marching band) stopped for me.

* Maybe it was the n-th time you hijacked my favorite sports sites with some less than witty innuendo or sloppy avatar of your cleavage that kept the witty commenters panting for pictures of you. Or, even worse, seducing sports blogger X (and Y, and Z) into quoting your less-than-amusing reports and chats on his blog. This stopped them from writing jokes to amuse me, and I had to get back to work sans humor boost.

* Maybe it was when your looks in the audience during the game became more talked about than the game itself. We both know that those looks are to be discreetly monitored by those blessed with excellent peripheral vision, not trumpeted by the announcers. Personally, Erin Andrews and Jenn Sterger were old news a year ago.

* Maybe it was when the ordinary members of your demographic took full advantage of the 10-1 ratio (and I'm being kind) of males to females at sporting events to convince guys that they were extraordinary. I do not come to your movie nights and fake passion for chick flicks, and neither should you come to my sporting event and claim lifelong devotion to the team whose colors match your eyes the best.

* Or maybe it was something like this (click to enlarge):



I have given you more than your share of my waking and thinking moments. (Note: waking does not imply thinking. But you knew that.) But when you mess with my love of sports to force me to pay attention to your ordinary self**, I can no longer adore you. Depart from my favorite sports blogs and events, and trouble them no more! Or, remain, but stop using sports as a means to an end (or my end, or anyone's end) instead of enjoying the game itself. By all means, have sports crushes. I'm not saying check your gender at the door. But please, spare us the public, distracting, desperate ploys for male attention.

Sincerely, MCBias.

**Dear Sue Bird and Lauren Jackson. I meant someone else. Thursday still good?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Bloggolalia: Comment of the Week

So one aspect of the recent success of sportsblogging that gets under-rated is how much it has to do with commenting. The comments of the readers have made a big difference as to how good the sites actually are. Some sites, I read more for the reader response than the post! It's so powerful, that even ESPN wants to get in on commenting on sports web-sites. (Ok, that and commenters re-visit to see if anyone cares, which builds hit-counts and boosts ad-revenue. Shh...enjoy the magic here.) Anyway, in honor I want to feature some of the best comments of the week. Just one for this week, from FreeDarko:

http://freedarko.blogspot.com/2007/03/theyre-sharp-cause-im-smiling.html#comments

At 11:35 PM, The Electric Zarko said...
It's because Kobe is a Euro. The best Euro of all time! And this unconciously realized dichotomy causes us concious disharmony, realized along the spectrum from Shoal's positing to Ed's flailing.

Fascinating! You know, seeing Kobe as a Euro matches my "Immigrant with Skills" theory beautifully, so, of course, this is a great comment. What? It's not MC-UN-Biased! heh.

But seriously, if you have any comments on any sports sites that you want to nominate, let me know. We'll make this a weekly feature, perhaps. I hope I don't sound too arrogant for saying this, but I have way too many ideas, and not enough time. I would hate to work at blogging full time; I love having a blogging surplus of ideas, instead. So I'll try to scale this back a bit.

Friday, March 9, 2007

High Stress Ref

This YouTube'er decides to venture into the world of sports in his "job" as a referee. Amusing stuff; I won't ruin it for you by saying more. But come on, haven't we all seen a high school game or two with a ref like this?



Here's the producer's homepage on Youtube, if you want to see his non-sports stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=showmanROT

SuperStar Be: Kobe Bryant Video Omission

I somehow didn't post what may be the most viewed Kobe Bryant highlight video. Didn't find it the first time I searched. I hate leaving things incomplete, so here you go.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

SuperStar Be: Kobe Bryant Be the Immigrant with Skills

So, finally, the last Kobe essay! Incidentally, thanks to our man #24 for giving Jaric a little 'bow last night. Although, I don't know why I'm being thankful when I don't even keep track of my views. Horrors! What a blogging sin!

Anyway, Kobe is the Immigrant with Skills. See, when your and my grandpappy came through Ellis Island, they had to learn English and kneel to the culture or else. They started washing dishes in some little hole, and when they accidentally brought a customer tomatoes instead of a Coke or something, they had their "welcome-to-America" moment. This moment consisted of the manager slapping them upside the head and saying "Learn some English, you immigrant trash!" They then were forced to learn our difficult language, shower more than once a week, and embrace our exorbant consumption and wild Jezebel women. Wait a minute, that last part is only on TV shows we export to gullible nations. I, for one, have not seen a Jezebel in weeks.

But, suppose your grandfather was a brilliant Russian mathematician, or your grandmother a beautiful Swedish songstress, or your son was a 6'7" baller who could jump to the NBA right out of high school. THAT type of immigrant doesn't need to assimilate. The manager learns their language, not the other way around. (My dear Swedess, I advise you to avoid the late shift on weekdays for your safety). And for years, they can happily hang out in their unassimilated form, not needing to conform to our nation. Of course, they can't speak English to the wild Jezebels, but they also save a bundle on deoderant and soap. And if they are skilled enough, the Jezebels don't care. Not a bad deal.

Then, one day, people realize that the immigrant is getting a sweetheart deal. And that immigrant becomes a whipping boy. It happened to Allen Iverson, Michael Jordan, and Shaq. But as I was saying elsewhere, the difference is that the street and the MSM (Mainstream Sports Media, of course :-)) both hated Kobe at the same time, WHILE he was winning championships! I hated him myself for years; hated his arrogant look, hated that he went straight from high school to the NBA and negotiated his way to LA.

Then, I realized that Kobe was human, at the Philly All-Star game. That really, he's one of those guys who tries to act so tough because he really doesn't know how to interact with this culture. I think Colorado was an outgrowth of that; Kobe hadn't really done that sort of thing when he was younger, so he tried it when he was older and bungled it. (Let me say, though, I feel for that girl. How would we feel if it was an 18-year-old boy fan instead?). I stopped hating Kobe, and started feeling sorry for him. Despite his HUGE skill set, he really doesn't know how to fit in. Like many an athlete, and even more for an athlete born to an athlete, he never got to be anything but Kobe the Baller, from "Ballerstan", if you will. That's his identity, and he hid there during the teenage years...only to find that there's nothing to him but that.

So to lay it all out there; I now sympathize with Kobe. I'm not necessarily a fan of his game. But I feel that he has some real issues, the way he's mercilessly cut his family and others out of his life, the way his public persona always seems to be changing. I'm not going to give you one of those "He needs our love, not our hate!" speeches. But imagine if everyone in your life loved you for just one thing, and that one thing dominated your life so much that you became that one thing. It's not necessarily the blessing you think to be dazzlingly beautiful, blazingly intelligent, mercurial in your creativity, or awesome in your athleticism. People don't see you as truly human anymore; you are from another place. They admire you, fear you, hate you, and never try to understand you. You are (deep breath to create false drama)...the Immigrant...with Skills...Kobe Bean Bryant.

CIMG0581

To me, this is the real Kobe; trying to look as he has something to do, but actually looking rather lonely and out of place for a wealthy athlete. Maybe it wouldn't hurt Kobe, now that he's no longer the youngest player on the team, to admit that he needs a friend or two, or nurture some friendships. But the man just sits there, waiting for someone or another to show up, while pretending that he meant to be alone. I'd pity him...if he wasn't a wealthy athlete. Awkward problem, isn't it?

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

SuperStar Be: Kobe Bryant Be His Father's Revenge on the Country Game

I needed all this text to make my point, so I don't apologize. If you're going to skim, though, please do read the descriptions of "City" and "Country" ball.

The thought of this post has been heavily influenced by David Halberstam's seminal work, "The Breaks of the Game". David speculates, err, reports to his heart's content (or am I the only one who is suspicious about some of his conclusions?!)about all sorts of racial issues in basketball. But he fails to elucidate on the two types of game that were clashing in the NBA at the time. This is my, not Halberstam's, take on the tensions between the two styles:

"City" Basketball. To me, City means isolations, dribbling, a faster style of play, a greater ability to improvise, a lack of repetition. If you're the best player on the floor, you should get the ball and drive, every time. Paradoxically, despite the love of dribbling, it's usually practiced by those who played many games with others. Usually, players of city ball tend to favor style over substance. A coach of a successful City team tends to be underappreciated; City players can sometimes be overly artistic in temperment, and need to have their emotions more carefully managed.

"Country" Basketball. To me, Country means players in motion at all times, passing, a focus on fundamental play,running plays to perfection, and getting the ball to the open man, whoever he may be. If you're the open player on the floor, you should shoot, every time. Paradoxically, despite Country's fundamentally sound game, coaches of Country still overcoach them. Country would rather win ugly than lose pretty. A coach of a successful City team tends to be overappreciated; Country players are so fundamentally sound that they can do much more for themselves than they are allowed to do.

The descriptions of those two styles are pretty much "black ball" and "white ball"; or, if you prefer, "athletic" and "non-athletic", "And 1" and "college", etc. I played with a 5'7" white guy who could 360 dunk volleyballs in high school, so I'm certainly aware of the exceptions. Halberstam also notes the exceptions. (Maravich, black ball. Westphal, black ball. Interestingly, I can't recall Halbersam citing any black players who played "white ball" except maybe for Hollins, but I would certainly put Kareem in the "white ball" category for his fundamentally sound post moves.)

The 70's were pretty much a high point for the tension between the two styles. It appears to me that the two leagues were somewhat split, with the ABA being City and the NBA being Country. The ABA lost. Proponents of City ball were often booted and blackballed (a pun, unfortunately, in this context) out of the NBA for their lack of discipline both on and off the court. Most of the great playground legends such Earl "The Goat" Manningult and the "Helicopter" played around this time. It may have culminated in the series between the Blazers and Sixers, where the Blazers were mostly Country and the Sixers were mostly City. The Blazers won, giving Country ball proponents ammunition for at least 15 years. "See, maybe those City ballers can start at some positions, but if you want a championship, you need Country ballers!"

Joe Bryant was on that Sixers team, a talented scorer on a team full of them. He ended up leaving the NBA after a rather mediocre career, as a full proponent of the City game. Throughout the 80's, Country ball continued to reign in the person of Larry Bird. One can make an argument that even Magic Johnson, with his love for passing, had a lot of Country ball in him.

However, then Michael Jordan came on the scene. He proved that a City baller could lead a team to a championship. (Here's one for you conspiracy theorists though. Why was Phil Jackson given so much pub on that team as some sort of mastermind? He was fully a City coach, managing emotions. The offense system was Tex Winter's, not his. I honestly think that it may have been the last gasp of Country ball, trying to give Phil the credit over his City ballers.) That was the beginning of the end of Country ball's reign. It was officially over when Kobe arrived in the same short time span as Allen Iverson, Vince Carter, and Tracy McGrady (nice 10-32 the other night, T-Mac, mostly on jump shots).

Unlike Joe, Kobe didn't get trapped behind the team's established star (Julius Erving for Joe). Unlike Joe, Kobe wasn't forced to try to play someone else's game. Unlike Joe, Kobe's team won the championship. Unlike Joe, when Kobe was seen as a ballhog, the people who saw him that way were forced out of the organization. And when Kobe's team first went to the Finals, it defeated the team coached by the ultimate Country star, Larry Bird.

I suspect that Joe Bryant taught Kobe well about minimizing his weaknesses, because City doesn't get a second shot. Unfortunately, perhaps he succeeded too well; his own son is now estranged from him, and Kobe's incident in Colorado reinforced to me one more thing. Kobe Bryant be...the Immigrant with Skills. Self-explanatory? That's what your eye drops wish. Excrutiating details later this week, plus the ever-beloved fan pictage. Peyton Manning's not the only one pictured in teenage girl birthday parties.