It breaks my heart to say this. We've gone through a lot together, ever since those sweaty, happy days of full-contact basketball in middle school gym class. I've stalked, err, seen you at more sporting events than I can count, either playing or happily supporting your team. You have a special place in my heart, right up there with "Females who Share MCBias's Religious and Political Biases" and "Females of an Certain European Ethnicity".
But I believe the time has come for us to part. I don't know when the music (played, of course, by a collegiate marching band) stopped for me.
* Maybe it was the n-th time you hijacked my favorite sports sites with some less than witty innuendo or sloppy avatar of your cleavage that kept the witty commenters panting for pictures of you. Or, even worse, seducing sports blogger X (and Y, and Z) into quoting your less-than-amusing reports and chats on his blog. This stopped them from writing jokes to amuse me, and I had to get back to work sans humor boost.
* Maybe it was when your looks in the audience during the game became more talked about than the game itself. We both know that those looks are to be discreetly monitored by those blessed with excellent peripheral vision, not trumpeted by the announcers. Personally, Erin Andrews and Jenn Sterger were old news a year ago.
* Maybe it was when the ordinary members of your demographic took full advantage of the 10-1 ratio (and I'm being kind) of males to females at sporting events to convince guys that they were extraordinary. I do not come to your movie nights and fake passion for chick flicks, and neither should you come to my sporting event and claim lifelong devotion to the team whose colors match your eyes the best.
* Or maybe it was something like this (click to enlarge):
I have given you more than your share of my waking and thinking moments. (Note: waking does not imply thinking. But you knew that.) But when you mess with my love of sports to force me to pay attention to your ordinary self**, I can no longer adore you. Depart from my favorite sports blogs and events, and trouble them no more! Or, remain, but stop using sports as a means to an end (or my end, or anyone's end) instead of enjoying the game itself. By all means, have sports crushes. I'm not saying check your gender at the door. But please, spare us the public, distracting, desperate ploys for male attention.
Sincerely, MCBias.
**Dear Sue Bird and Lauren Jackson. I meant someone else. Thursday still good?
See, those females who "love" sports give the rest of us bad names. Some of us don't actually feel the need to show off our tits in order to reaffirm our femininity (because, of course, sports aren't for girls, *rolleyes*).
ReplyDeleteI've noticed it too, that a lot of female sports fans, especially of men's sports, are obsessed with both their appearance and the players' appearance. Because they draw attention to it, in return attention is drawn to it. (Personally, it's the Stacey Dales lust that irks me.)
I can't necessarily rebut #3, since I did meet my boyfriend at a basketball game, but it wasn't as if I was there to pick up some lonely schlub. I believe I was analyzing our team's backcourt woes and he was telling stories from the 2001 NCAA tournament.
Or, remain, but stop using sports as a means to an end (or my end, or anyone's end) instead of enjoying the game itself. By all means, have sports crushes. I'm not saying check your gender at the door. But please, spare us the public, distracting, desperate ploys for male attention.
YES. Thank you.
Although, not being that kind of female sports fan, I will say that the fans you complain about don't make my life any easier. Average male sports fans act like I'm some kind of performing circus animal because I can talk reasonably cogently about four different sports.
If you had referenced attractive WNBA players who hadn't done borderline porn shots, I would've really been gleeful.
Hi rebecca. You're welcome, and too bad my post didn't quite reach the gleeful level, ha. I'm glad you understood what I was saying, which is quite an accomplishment! I meant to draw a distinction between the female who genuinely enjoys sports and the female who feigns a love for sports to exalt herself in some way. I'm not sure how cleanly I drew that line the way I wrote the post originally.
ReplyDeleteI used Sue Bird and Lauren Jackson because I thought people might recognize the names as those of female athletes and thus understand the line I was drawing. Your point is well-taken, though, that Lauren Jackson may have been the wrong choice to make my point in light of that shoot before the Olympics. Female athletes and sexuality is such a complicated issue. There's just so much to say, and so few easy answers. But one easy point is, looks matter so much in so many careers for women. Do they have to matter for sports, too?
For truly beautiful (inside and out) female athletes who have the right attitudes, I should have referenced Ivory Latta snd Erin Buescher, for starters. Better?
:-) Now that would be a great lunch indeed.