Last Tuesday, a quiet newsday, the NBA let it be known that Sam Mitchell, a coach of the Toronto Raptors, of Canada, had won the coach of the year. Yes, the same Sam Mitchell who won the worst coach in the league award last year in an informal SI poll. I read the article in ESPN, which mentioned the "nationwide panel of 128 sportswriters and broadcasters." That seemed innocent enough to me, until I dug deeper and read the Orlando Sentinel, that guardian of American freedoms: "a panel of 128 sports writers and broadcasters from the United States and Canada."
Aha! Then it was all too clear to me. ESPN.com, located in Bristol, Connecticut, is all too close to the Canadian border. They are helpless against retaliation. But the truth could only be found in sunny Florida, far from the watchful gaze of the powerful Canadian media and sports mafia.
Oh, you scoff. You mock. You really think those blank spaces on the map of the Canadian provinces are uninhabited? That they are NOT being used to breed killer robots on skis? Your beliefs will be of little comfort to you when we all live in igloos and speak Eskimoean. I've already begun preparations by learning all the words for snow. It's funny how the US government has been blind to this, turning a frantic eye to our sunny southern borders while the avalanche awaits us to the north. But I digress. Here's hoping the Canadian sports mafia has yet to learn of technorati.com, or MCBias has posted his last post.
Shrewd David Stern, sensing the threat to the NBA, lured the dangerous NHL south and out of Canada, on false promises of profit and the words of his quisling disciple Bettman. Once out of its home base, the American behemoth attacked it head-on, bribing owners, players, and fans alike to bring the sport to its knees. This culminated in the near-extinction of the NHL in the strike of 2004-2005. During this time the Canadian media, having no hockey to cover, discovered this sport called "basketball" that employed a Canadian by the name of Steve Nash. Naturally, they flooded the supposedly exclusive 128-member voting panel with Canadians, and Steve Nash was voted MVP twice. Revenge against Stern was sweet. Who would have believed that the country with 1 NBA team had outwitted the country with 29 teams?
Then, a Toronto representative pointed out to his brethren that their infiltration was not a true display of Canadian might. "There's too much evidence that Nash could have been the MVP. I'm sure there's been one other player under 6'4" to be voted MVP in the last 25 years, right? But what if we'd make Sam Mitchell the NBA Coach of the Year?" the Toronto representative said. "It should have been obvious to anyone that a coach who was not having his contract extended and was adding the #1 draft pick and a great GM to his team couldn't be responsible to his team's success. But those Americans will be too busy with the NFL Draft this week to notice that. Canadian sports shall rise again...through BASKETBALL!"
And so it has begun. Oh, you laugh at me now. But just wait until the NBA All-Pro teams come out, and Jamal Magliore is your starting center. But then it will be too late. I wonder if killer robots fire lasers or simply rely on sheer physical force to crush their prey? And are they vulnerable to heat? Perhaps they may yet stop before the Everglades. We'll know soon enough.
And if this is the first place in my post you realize this is a joke, I'm scared for our children's future. But I have no fear for my bank account and enlarged ego.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Meg Bulger is NOT Available
No matter how badly your favorite NFL team drafts this weekend, they can't top this. Meg Bulger was drafted in round 3 of the WNBA draft by Sacramento. She's the sister of Marc Bulger, and a scoring machine at West Virginia University (19.8 this year until she got injured). I was actually surprised she wasn't drafted a tad higher.
One small problem, though: she wasn't eligible for the draft! She never declared, never worked out for anyone, anything. She's going back to WVU this year. A complete reach by Sacramento, and the pick was voided. What kind of crazy GM drafts a player who isn't even eligible for the draft? I mean, how stupid is that? Sure, it was only the 3rd round of the 3-round draft. But it was an incredible waste of a pick.
Oh. Credit to wemustignitethiscouch.com for the picture. On second thought, nice try, Sacramento GM. I'm sure calling pretty girls and apologizing for drafting them on accident is a much better way to get dates then sending gmail invites to them as gifts. Um, not that I would know anything about that. Now if you'll excuse me, I "drafted" Candace Parker and Heather Zurich in my fantasy baseball league by accident. Ooops.
One small problem, though: she wasn't eligible for the draft! She never declared, never worked out for anyone, anything. She's going back to WVU this year. A complete reach by Sacramento, and the pick was voided. What kind of crazy GM drafts a player who isn't even eligible for the draft? I mean, how stupid is that? Sure, it was only the 3rd round of the 3-round draft. But it was an incredible waste of a pick.
Oh. Credit to wemustignitethiscouch.com for the picture. On second thought, nice try, Sacramento GM. I'm sure calling pretty girls and apologizing for drafting them on accident is a much better way to get dates then sending gmail invites to them as gifts. Um, not that I would know anything about that. Now if you'll excuse me, I "drafted" Candace Parker and Heather Zurich in my fantasy baseball league by accident. Ooops.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Look-alikes: Alec Baldwin and Bill Laimbeer?
I must be crazy, but I was watching an old Bill Laimbeer video on Youtube, and I'm starting to think he and Alec Baldwin look alike. Agree? The evidence:
Laimbeer:
Baldwin:
*Thanks to thebiglead.com and yaysports.com for recent links, much appreciated. But no, this isn't the part where I breathlessly have a blog intro to tell new readers all about how magnificent I am and my vision for the site, and beg you to come back. You can make up your minds for yourself on the merits of this blog without that.
Laimbeer:
Baldwin:
*Thanks to thebiglead.com and yaysports.com for recent links, much appreciated. But no, this isn't the part where I breathlessly have a blog intro to tell new readers all about how magnificent I am and my vision for the site, and beg you to come back. You can make up your minds for yourself on the merits of this blog without that.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Bloggolalia: Catching Them on the Way Up
The Extrapolater has graciously agreed to weigh in on the topic of gaps in sports blog land. He wrote on Catching Them on the Way Up here. He talks about covering minor-league players before they are stars and covering small-school teams and obscure sports. Very comprehensive and highly recommended.
And if you haven't weighed in or read my post on the technology gap, here, take a look. The post has authentic video footage of a blogger and blogger-created video, so check it out and let me know what you think.
If you'd like to take a turn at analyzing gaps and growth possibilities in sports blogging, by all means, let me know and I'll link to your article.
There may not be a post tomorrow, as I did more posting today than I had planned on.
And if you haven't weighed in or read my post on the technology gap, here, take a look. The post has authentic video footage of a blogger and blogger-created video, so check it out and let me know what you think.
If you'd like to take a turn at analyzing gaps and growth possibilities in sports blogging, by all means, let me know and I'll link to your article.
There may not be a post tomorrow, as I did more posting today than I had planned on.
Salvage Value: Jemele Hill, Gilbert Arenas Follow-up
For those of you who read Newsweek, its cover story pointed out that ESPN's Page 2 Jemele Hill played a significant role in getting Don Imus's comments to a large audience. It's surprising to me that ESPN has been so under the radar in acknowledging this, especially with Page 2 being so quiet nowadays. Understandably, though, because of ESPN's ties to ABC, they probably don't want people thinking that their journalists are going around savaging hosts from the competition. (Imus worked for CBS radio and MSNBC TV, if I am not mistaken). Here's the exact quote:
"...Young black journalists were among the first to demand that Imus be ousted. Thursday evening, one day after Imus's comments, Jemele Hill, an ESPN reporter, posted the Media Matters link on the National Association of Black Journalists' e-mail list... In a matter of hours, black journalists in newsrooms across the country were clicking on it, and getting angry. The next day the NABJ demanded an apology from Imus, then called for him to be fired."
Read them for more of the surrounding text.
Also, I received a bit of notoriety here for my Gilbert Arenas SuperStars Be post. It's fair; if I'm going to write a post with strong opinions, I expect to get them back. But just to clarify; I love nerdiness and geekiness. I love late bloomers and underrated prospects. Just look at my Shay Doron post as an example.
Coming from anyone else, my post would be Gilbert-hating. Coming from me, it's excess affection that should make Gilbert double-lock his door as a precaution and hope that I'm not a big John Amaechi fan, ha.
"...Young black journalists were among the first to demand that Imus be ousted. Thursday evening, one day after Imus's comments, Jemele Hill, an ESPN reporter, posted the Media Matters link on the National Association of Black Journalists' e-mail list... In a matter of hours, black journalists in newsrooms across the country were clicking on it, and getting angry. The next day the NABJ demanded an apology from Imus, then called for him to be fired."
Read them for more of the surrounding text.
Also, I received a bit of notoriety here for my Gilbert Arenas SuperStars Be post. It's fair; if I'm going to write a post with strong opinions, I expect to get them back. But just to clarify; I love nerdiness and geekiness. I love late bloomers and underrated prospects. Just look at my Shay Doron post as an example.
Coming from anyone else, my post would be Gilbert-hating. Coming from me, it's excess affection that should make Gilbert double-lock his door as a precaution and hope that I'm not a big John Amaechi fan, ha.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Mourning Halberstam's Passing
I am saddened by the death of the author David Halberstam. I have three books of his; "The Breaks of the Game", about the Trailblazers of the late 70's and other NBA stories, "War in a Time of Peace", and "The Reckoning." I haven't read The Reckoning yet, but I certainly will soon. Frankly, this post is going to be lousy; it's not very easy to make this interesting or cheery.
What I find so enviable about David's writing gifts in "The Breaks of the Game" is the way he could even make injured players interesting. When we read something like "DNP: Foot injury", we tend to forget that player or ignore them. David interviewed them and showed how they were struggling to stay in the league, or regain their starting jobs, or even return to an MVP level (in the case of Walton). Especially interesting is the Billy Ray Bates story; you know Billy Ray is doomed, but thankfully the book is done before it happens.
I also envy the way he reports the story without falling prey to jock envy. Sports books can get ruined because the embedded reporter is either too close to the story and players, or because the reporter is too distant and snobbish. But David navigates such shoals and sandbars with ease in his book.
Halberstam wrote a few articles for ESPN Page 2. Somehow, this was never promoted the way it should have been. Either that or I missed it. But here is an article he wrote titled "Sports can distract, but they don't heal" about getting our priorities right after 9/11. I recommend it. And my sympathies and condolences to those who knew him.
What I find so enviable about David's writing gifts in "The Breaks of the Game" is the way he could even make injured players interesting. When we read something like "DNP: Foot injury", we tend to forget that player or ignore them. David interviewed them and showed how they were struggling to stay in the league, or regain their starting jobs, or even return to an MVP level (in the case of Walton). Especially interesting is the Billy Ray Bates story; you know Billy Ray is doomed, but thankfully the book is done before it happens.
I also envy the way he reports the story without falling prey to jock envy. Sports books can get ruined because the embedded reporter is either too close to the story and players, or because the reporter is too distant and snobbish. But David navigates such shoals and sandbars with ease in his book.
Halberstam wrote a few articles for ESPN Page 2. Somehow, this was never promoted the way it should have been. Either that or I missed it. But here is an article he wrote titled "Sports can distract, but they don't heal" about getting our priorities right after 9/11. I recommend it. And my sympathies and condolences to those who knew him.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Bloggolalia: The Technology Gap
Let me first apologize in advance for all the blogs I will leave out of this attempted analysis. Sorry. Tell us about yourselves in the comments.
I wanted to analyze a gap in sports blogland, and that is the underuse of technology. I really think that blogs should create more of their own stories, but unless you have a locker room pass or something, that's unlikely for most of us. However, all of us have access to some pretty sweet technology nowadays. So why don't we use more of that on our sites? There's video and photos and wikis and podcasts and radio and TV and mobile Internet applications that can really help spruce up one's blogs. Anyway, here's my survey of the bloggosphere so far. Hey, it's Friday: you've got time, right? And I wanted to respect people's content, so I tended to link to the site rather than put the pretty pictures/video here. So go visit them already.
Video: Ok, nearly everyone by now knows how to link to or embed You-tube on their site. (And hey, don't forget about video.google.com and other video sites; not all the cool videos are on Youtube). But what else could we do?
Well, you could use videos as a footnote to your story to help readers find out more about the individuals/teams involved. Tedhas really outdone himself with matching video to the first round of the NBA playoffs. Standing ovation, sir, nicely done.
You could create your own videos with your own characters, as TSW did
here: I have to warn you about the objectionable material, though; I'm pretty sure I saw some Steelers gear on one of the characters. Proceed with caution.
Sony Muvee, a program that is free on many computers, allows you to mix photos and music very easily. Or, try Windows Movie Maker, or other freeware programs. Here's a video I did about Rasheed Wallace; all I had to do was toss in the pictures and pick the track, and the program mixed it together for me with special effects.
And...deep breath...you could actually show your own face and do a videoblog! Now look, perhaps bloggers aren't the most comely lot in the world. But really, there has to be some lovely lass or gregarious gent who doesn't mind showing a little face, right? Well, I tried to lead the way...but I have to admit, it's harder than it looks!
Radio and TV:
This is out of reach for most of us, but here's a few applications:
SlamOnline.com had a radio show a few times. I don't know exactly where their links are to it now, though.
Every Day Should Be Saturday does a call-in show, apparently using the magic of Skype. Details are as follows: "EDSBS Live Tuesdays 7:30pm-9pm EST Call in! (310) 984-7600"
And who could forget the Sports Blog Show? It's on TV! The dream of couch potatoes everywhere to be on the other side of the screen has finally been realized. And Dan talks about cheese! Reason #2342 to move to the Maryland/Virginia area.
Podcasts:
The Basketball Jones does a podcast on a regular basis, which I really will listen to in detail one of these days. Promise! Maybe this is a nice compromise for you who have a face for radio but have great voices?
Wiki:
True Hoop set up a wiki to track the elusive William Wesley, I believe. Nice idea: perhaps a wiki would also make play-off live blogging more fun? Or, I'd love to see how much controversy a Kobe Bryant or Terrell Owens wiki would create. But I'd hate to be the web-site owner having to keep that wiki peaceful, so why don't you try?
Pictures:
Pictures can be used to better understand the subject or enlighten us, and here, you know I'm giving lots of appreciation to freedarko. This is one shining example. It's been a while since I've self-promoted, so let me fix that by referring you to my OJMayo analysis using pictures:
here.
You already may know of the Photoship and Paint magic of Yaysports.com and Miss Gossip. Wonderful work on the NBA. You can either get existing sports pictures from the games themselves from Yahoo! Sports or perhaps one of the big three sites like mlb.com, or create your own from scratch.
There's also using pictures for objectifying hot athletes, as practiced by The Big Picture, LADIES..., and Girls Gone Sports. It can be fun to read, until the readers/posters provide TMI about their desires. Eww.
Finally, if you want to find pictures of your favorite athletes in their more candid moments, I suggest webshots.com, flickr.com, picasa (through Google, now with community features), and photobucket.com. But please, take it easy on the "smear reputation via photo" route. There's no lack of that in sports blog land.
Mobile Internet:
The AOL FanHouse is readable via wireless phone, something I did not know before. Check out the clean yet small view at m.aolsportsblog.com. But I have to think some other sites would also look great on wireless, too. Withleather, thebiglead, thissuitisnotblack.blogspot.com, and deadspin all are sites that focus on current news and have shorter posts. Consider it?
Additional comments?
I wanted to analyze a gap in sports blogland, and that is the underuse of technology. I really think that blogs should create more of their own stories, but unless you have a locker room pass or something, that's unlikely for most of us. However, all of us have access to some pretty sweet technology nowadays. So why don't we use more of that on our sites? There's video and photos and wikis and podcasts and radio and TV and mobile Internet applications that can really help spruce up one's blogs. Anyway, here's my survey of the bloggosphere so far. Hey, it's Friday: you've got time, right? And I wanted to respect people's content, so I tended to link to the site rather than put the pretty pictures/video here. So go visit them already.
Video: Ok, nearly everyone by now knows how to link to or embed You-tube on their site. (And hey, don't forget about video.google.com and other video sites; not all the cool videos are on Youtube). But what else could we do?
Well, you could use videos as a footnote to your story to help readers find out more about the individuals/teams involved. Tedhas really outdone himself with matching video to the first round of the NBA playoffs. Standing ovation, sir, nicely done.
You could create your own videos with your own characters, as TSW did
here: I have to warn you about the objectionable material, though; I'm pretty sure I saw some Steelers gear on one of the characters. Proceed with caution.
Sony Muvee, a program that is free on many computers, allows you to mix photos and music very easily. Or, try Windows Movie Maker, or other freeware programs. Here's a video I did about Rasheed Wallace; all I had to do was toss in the pictures and pick the track, and the program mixed it together for me with special effects.
And...deep breath...you could actually show your own face and do a videoblog! Now look, perhaps bloggers aren't the most comely lot in the world. But really, there has to be some lovely lass or gregarious gent who doesn't mind showing a little face, right? Well, I tried to lead the way...but I have to admit, it's harder than it looks!
Radio and TV:
This is out of reach for most of us, but here's a few applications:
SlamOnline.com had a radio show a few times. I don't know exactly where their links are to it now, though.
Every Day Should Be Saturday does a call-in show, apparently using the magic of Skype. Details are as follows: "EDSBS Live Tuesdays 7:30pm-9pm EST Call in! (310) 984-7600"
And who could forget the Sports Blog Show? It's on TV! The dream of couch potatoes everywhere to be on the other side of the screen has finally been realized. And Dan talks about cheese! Reason #2342 to move to the Maryland/Virginia area.
Podcasts:
The Basketball Jones does a podcast on a regular basis, which I really will listen to in detail one of these days. Promise! Maybe this is a nice compromise for you who have a face for radio but have great voices?
Wiki:
True Hoop set up a wiki to track the elusive William Wesley, I believe. Nice idea: perhaps a wiki would also make play-off live blogging more fun? Or, I'd love to see how much controversy a Kobe Bryant or Terrell Owens wiki would create. But I'd hate to be the web-site owner having to keep that wiki peaceful, so why don't you try?
Pictures:
Pictures can be used to better understand the subject or enlighten us, and here, you know I'm giving lots of appreciation to freedarko. This is one shining example. It's been a while since I've self-promoted, so let me fix that by referring you to my OJMayo analysis using pictures:
here.
You already may know of the Photoship and Paint magic of Yaysports.com and Miss Gossip. Wonderful work on the NBA. You can either get existing sports pictures from the games themselves from Yahoo! Sports or perhaps one of the big three sites like mlb.com, or create your own from scratch.
There's also using pictures for objectifying hot athletes, as practiced by The Big Picture, LADIES..., and Girls Gone Sports. It can be fun to read, until the readers/posters provide TMI about their desires. Eww.
Finally, if you want to find pictures of your favorite athletes in their more candid moments, I suggest webshots.com, flickr.com, picasa (through Google, now with community features), and photobucket.com. But please, take it easy on the "smear reputation via photo" route. There's no lack of that in sports blog land.
Mobile Internet:
The AOL FanHouse is readable via wireless phone, something I did not know before. Check out the clean yet small view at m.aolsportsblog.com. But I have to think some other sites would also look great on wireless, too. Withleather, thebiglead, thissuitisnotblack.blogspot.com, and deadspin all are sites that focus on current news and have shorter posts. Consider it?
Additional comments?
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