See Part 1 here. Once again I am joined by my acerbic fictional alter-ego, MR CAPS, representing the best and worse of cynical commenting:
Ask me a few months ago, and this site would be a few spots higher. The Cavalier’s hilarious pictures and outrageous posts inspire bitingly funny comments from regulars like Jack Cobra, Boney, StillaJew, Roger, Becky, Jordi, and Tony Parker. The Cavalier also often shows up in the comment section to spice things up. However, being an NBA-only blog it gets pretty quiet in the off-season.
YOU FORGET TO MENTION THAT HALF OF THOSE READERS HAVE NOT POSTED IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS, THEY HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY FRAT BOYS WHO FAIL TO RECOGNIZE THAT COLLEGE IS THE BEST TIME OF THEIR LIVES AND SHOULD NOT BE WASTED ON INTERNET COMMENT SECTIONS.
Best time as in the only time in life one must balance a full-time job, a full-time class schedule, and a full-time debt load?
DON’T FORGET FULL-TIME BABE WATCHING. "PARDON ME, NEW FRESHWOMAN, BUT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A HEART-BREAKING EXPERIENCE WITH AN OLDER MALE STUDENT TO RUIN YOUR FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL? MR CAPS CAN INSPIRE AT LEAST 20 WHINY BLOG POSTS AND 30 DRUNK DIALS, GUARANTEED! AND DO YOU ALSO HAVE A POOR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER? YES?"
I support eugenics and forced castration programs only if they involve MR CAPS.
4. The Starting Five
Posts talk about controversial acts of omission and commission in media coverage, which inspires a lot of interesting commentary. In addition, this site has a lot of unique and regular commenters you won’t see elsewhere. The comments are usually somewhat smart and lengthy, but can also be funny. And you usually can get responses to your comments. If you asked me a month ago, this site gets ranked higher.
I AM STILL NOT SURE WHICH COMMENT LAST WEEK CAUSED YOU TO RATE IT LOWER, MC BIAS. LET ME THINK…WAS IT (A) THE COMMENT WITH ANTI-SEMITISM? (B) THE COMMENT WITH CRACKPOT THEORIES ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF BLACK PEOPLE? (C) THE COMMENT WITH AN INJUNCTION TO BLACK MEN TO STAY AWAY FROM WHITE WOMEN? (D) THE COMMENT WITH THE F-BOMB DROPPED ON YOUR SORRY ALIAS WHILE TRYING TO BE NICE?
I refuse to pick just one. Yes, there have been a few too many extremists playing both white and black bigot cards lately, and the comment section’s getting a little too long. Pity; the site is becoming a victim of its own success.
OR, ITS SUCCESS IS MAKING ITS READERS THAT DO NOT FIT A CERTAIN TEMPLATE INTO VICTIMS.
I’ll believe my opinion for now, MR CAPS. It’s still one of the best sites out there, even if many other sports blogs don't give it credit for the original reporting it does.
I really want to rate the site that made commenting cool a few slots higher. Will sets up posts like a pro for the masses to make jokes on, and the open-hearted, I-love-my-readers style of the site is charming. DU!AN made it socially acceptable for commenting to occur after work hours. Plus, they have a commenting intern too, who writes columns!
FACT: THREE OUT OF TEN DEADSPIN READERS WHO ATTEMPT TO READ A COMPLETE COMMENT SECTION SUBSEQUENTLY SUFFER FROM VISION IMPAIRMENT, INCLUDING OUTRIGHT BLINDNESS OR VISIONS OF DANCING SKIP BAYLESS HEADS LEVITATING ABOVE LEATHER JACKETS.
I know it’s a long comment section, but it’s usually worth reading.
FACT: 100% OF THE FUNNY DEADSPIN COMMENTERS GO START THEIR OWN BLOGS. ONLY THE LESS TALENTED REMAIN, TO POST “LOOK AT ME! I BE FUNNY!” STYLE COMMENTS.
That number can't be fact. After all, I started my own blog, and I'm not that funny. And being funny IS the point; write something so funny that people must respond.
EXCEPT THAT SOME NEWER, LESS TALENTED COMMENTERS HAVE OCCASIONALLY RESORTED TO RACIST ATTEMPTS THAT AREN'T FUNNY OR HAVE LITTLE TO DO WITH THE POST. HUMOR IS THE GOAL, NOT INAPPROPRIATE AND BIASED SOCIAL COMMENTARY.
Yes, by all means, leave the bias to me. I’m going to have to agree with you for once. But it's just a few bad apples, and...
ALL YOUR FUNNY ARE BELONG TO ME. MR CAPS IS INVICTUS!
And immediately disagree, sigh.
2. The Big Lead
One of the largest blogs that still allows commenters to direct-link their names to their sites. Thus, lots of smaller bloggers hang out here. Comment section rarely gets past 40, so you can read the comments in one sitting. Also, perhaps the funniest crew of haters (Jay the Most Hated, Lozo, The Maj) on any site.
THE BIG LEAD'S RANKING SHOULD BE PENALIZED FOR ITS RELENTLESS BAITING OF MIDWEST TEAMS TO DRIVE UP VIEWS AND COMMENTS.
They’ve been right so far on the Bears and on Notre Dame. Look, it’s a decent site, and the best complaints other commenters have is that they don’t like TBL’s taste in movies.
DON’T FORGET THE WHINING OF COMMENTERS TRAPPED AT WORK BEGGING FOR MORE PICTURES OF STARLETS IN LESS THAN CONCEALING CLOTHING. IT’S A SPORTS BLOG, NOT TMZ OR WWTDD.
Still a solid #2.
1. Free Darko
Highbrow posting leads to funny, smart, and detailed comments. Stupid commenters are kept too busy looking at the random pictures in the posts or scratching their heads about what the post meant to comment. For some reason I haven’t been here often, but I should have been.
NOT EVEN THE WRITERS OF FREE DARKO KNOWS WHAT FREE DARKO IS ACTUALLY ABOUT IN ANY GIVEN POST, WHICH MAKES THE SITE EVEN MORE FREE DARKO…IF ANYONE KNEW WHAT FREE DARKO WAS. BUT I UNDERSTAND IT ALL.
Really? You know, maybe you do have something worthwhile to share and I should post this intelligence-insulting routine more often. Go ahead.
ABOUT TIME! LOOK AT THE WEB-SITE SIDEWAYS IN A MIRROR AND REALIZE THAT IT’S REALLY THE PUBLISHED MEMOIRS OF DARK O’ FREE, A FORMER SLAVE. HE, NOT NAISMITH, ACTUALLY INVENTED BASKETBALL. THE SITE IS JUST POSTING THE 453 PAGE UNPUBLISHED THESIS OF DR. LAWYER INDIAN CHIEF.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever read and is offensive on so many levels. You have run out of things to say, haven’t you?
BOXERS AND LAWNGERIE BEARING THE MR CAPS LABEL SEND A MESSAGE TO THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE THAT YOU ARE LOUD, PROUD, AND IN CHARGE. PURCHASE THEM FOR AN APPROPRIATE DONATION AT
Why am I not surprised you can’t spell lingerie? For the last time, no merchandise sales for you. This list is over!
Again, I am posting about my betters and just having a little fun with them. Feel free to tell me what cool comment sections I missed in the comments.