Note: For those of you wondering about "MR CAPS", he's a running joke on this blog (see previous entries here).
I drove over to my local Borders and sunk $25.00 of my not-so-hard-earned income into Will Leitch's God Save the Fan. After finishing this book, I can't believe how different it seems than Deadspin.com. I almost feel like I should differentiate Deadspin Will from Book William. The book is not as funny as Deadspin. But Book William's analysis was sharp and I have had similar thoughts myself, or wish I did. I enjoyed the book immensely! Its division of Players, Owners, Media, and Fans felt natural and made the book seem like 4 mini-books. In fact, I
NOW JUST HOLD ON THERE MCBIAS! YOUR UNABASHED FAN ACT IS EMBARRASSING! MR CAPS MUST INTERRUPT BEFORE YOU ORALLY AND TYPOGRAPHICALLY PLE-
MR CAPS, Herschel Walker's new book on his multiple personality disorders isn't an invitation for you to reappear on these pages!
-AD WITH WILL FOR ANOTHER DEADSPIN LINK TO HELP PROMOTE HIS BOOK. PATHETIC! THE BOOK WAS TERRIBLE! MR CAPS MEASURED IT AS BARE OF TRUE INSIGHT AS YOUR AS-
Terrible? What are you talking about? It was great! Did you not read Book William's recap of the Carl Monday affair and how blogs kept overbearing local media in check? Did you miss the nice words for my favorite causes such as the WNBA and Christian athletes? The cold weather and your lack of social interaction with girls other than your mother has frozen your intellect. You are not going to savage my adoring book review for Book William. Don't listen, BW!
-SURANCES THAT YOUR COMMENTERS DON'T LIKE MR CAPS. THEY ADORE ME! MR CAPS ADMITS THAT WILL'S PROGRESSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT STEROIDS, BLACK ATHLETES, LACK OF CRITICISM OF THE NFL, AND THE SHAMEFUL ACTIONS OF OWNERS SOUNDED INTELLIGENT...THE FIRST TIME, WHEN HE HEARD D-WIL, THE STARTING FIVE, DAVID ZIRIN, STOPMIKELUPICA, AND EVEN MCBIAS MAKE SIMILAR POINTS! THOSE THOUGHTS ARE NORMALLY AS BANNED FROM DEADSPIN.COM AS POT ROAST AND GRAVY. WHY IS SLICK WILLIE TURNING INTO WISE WILLIAM NOW, AFTER YEARS OF IGNORING THOSE BLOGGERS?
Bill Clinton wants his nickname back, MR CAPS. So what? You should be happy that a major blog writer like Will shares similar views on such topics. Shut up and appreciate that finally someone is writing a book on those issues, ok?
MR CAPS NEEDS EXPENSIVE THERAPY.
You mean for other reasons than the mundane borderline-insane issues?
HE READ WILL'S ASSERTION THAT CLEVELAND FANS SHOULD HAVE SUPPORTED THE BALTIMORE RAVENS AFTER THEY LEFT CLEVELAND. BY SIMILAR LOGIC, MR CAPS WONDERS IF THE POLES SHOULD HAVE SUPPORTED HERR HITLER AFTER HE EVACUATED POLAND. MR CAPS HOPES THAT THE LOCAL DRUG STORE STILL CARRIES PROZAC.
Oh trust me, MR CAPS needs therapy for bigger reasons than that. Your first Hitler reference, and only halfway through the post! Congrats!
MC BIAS, YOU NEED THERAPY AFTER WALLOWING THROUGH THOSE GLOSSARIES AT THE END OF EACH CHAPTER! MR CAPS SURMISES THAT WILL WROTE THOSE LENGTHY, AWKWARD GLOSSARIES TO GET THE BOOK OVER 250 PAGES. HOW BAD WERE THE OTHER CHOICES IF THAT WAS WILL'S BEST CHOICE? SURELY THE ALTERNATIVE WAS HIRSHEY WRITING A 30-PAGE CHAPTER ON FAMOUS JEWS OF THE EPL!
Don't bring David Hirshey into this, MR CAPS! Our mutual, inexplicable fondness for ethnic-looking men with mustaches and a vague resemblance to Saddam Hussein covers David! He is one of our chosen people. Back off!
MR CAPS APOLOGIZES, AS LONG AS MC BIAS DOES NOT OFFER THE SAME HIRSUTE COVERING OF PROTECTION TO AJ.
Why not? I thought his chapter on the Super Bowl was highly entertaining. Although AJ only wore a temp 'stache. I'm not sure he kept it long enough to be numbered among the brotherhood of the lip-shaders.
YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER ONLY BECAUSE OF THE VISUAL OF AJ COWERING BEHIND AN SUV AS SEAN SALISBURY PASSED, HOPING THAT SEAN WOULD NOT BEAT THE CUSTARD OUT OF HIM.
That's enough Deadspin insider jokes for one post. OK, so I would have enjoyed seeing that picture on Deadspin.com, ha. But leave AJ alone. That was a good chapter.
MR CAPS CONCLUDES WITH A PARTING SHOT FOR BOOK WILLIAM, WHO CLAIMED THAT FANTASY FOOTBALL IS NOT JUST FOR NERDS. BOOK WILLIAM IS RIGHT. FANTASY FOOTBALL IS ALSO FOR HEN-PECKED HUSBANDS, WOULD-BE ATHLETES WHOSE GROWTH PEAKED AT 5'8", COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO CANNOT AFFORD REAL ENTERTAINMENT, DATELESS AND BALDING 30-SOMETHINGS, AND INTERNET ADDICTS WHO NEED TIME TO RECUPERATE INBETWEEN VIDEO GAME AND PORN BINGES.
Oh dear. I think that's enough out of you for one day. I need to conclude my valentine to Book William without interruption. Book William, I especially liked how you adopted Rick Ankiel as your own personal athlete and symbol of changes in your life. That's so 20-something coming-of-age of you, and we've all done it at one time or another. And I liked that you mocked beer commercials, and called yourself a contrarian! You even like Arrested Development! And you did the delightfully nerdy act of referring to ladies in the 4th person impersonal when you said "As anyone who has ever had the misfortune to date me knows" on pg 233 of your book! I do that too! We have more in common than I ever realized. Call me, Book William, and we'll go out for tea and muffins! No, it wouldn't be awkward, it would be manly! and Midwestern!
AND eMASCULATING! MR CAPS WILL HIT "PUBLISH POST" ON THIS POST BEFORE YOU START ASKING BOOK WILLIAM TO SCRATCH THAT SPOT ON YOUR BACK YOU CAN'T REACH. REVOLTING.
Ok, but I did enjoy the book.
AND MR CAPS ENJOYED RIPPING THE BOOK TO SHREDS.
Unfortunately, your shredder failed to do the same for your credit card orders last month. I didn't know the WWE still sold Hulk Hogan vitamins.
THAT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! MR CAPS NEEDS HIS VITAMINS TO GROW STRONG AND MANLY!
Trust me, the Val Venus under garments on the same bill won't help with that.